Letting go

“It’s toxic when we continue to pursue failed relationships, trying to fix our disfunction we grew up in. God’s love for you is stronger than the cycle that you think you’re trapped in.”

I was having a conversation with a friend this past week and she was telling us a miraculous story about how Yahweh revealed to her that she had been continually settling and trying to navigate impossible and destructive relationships simply because she had experiences in her past that had traumatized her as a child, I could relate because through something my pastor had said a few weeks earlier in a message had spoke to me and began to reveal some things that I had been struggling with along those lines as well…

My pastor said:

“One of the most destructive things you can do is chase after people that God is trying to remove from your life, If somebody wants to leave you, let them.”

-Pastor Mattie Montgomery

So in this revelation I began to realize that I had been chasing impossible and destructive friendships for decades just because my dad was an addict… I could never fix my dad so I have been trying to navigate these impossible friendships just because I wanted to fix something that was never resolved between me and my dad, Yahweh never meant for it to be this way, yes it is good to love the unlovable, it is good to forgive people over and over again but it is not good to invest you heart and soul and mind into something that Yahweh is showing you that is bad for you and trying to remove from your life, I’ve felt rejected so many times just because I didn’t want see that it was time to let someone go from my life and to be honest not one of these relationships ever benefited from me continuing to try to fix the person and trying to use God out of context to accomplish the task. In the long list of people that I held on to for too long they ended up cheating on their wife, continuing to be an alcoholic, never stopping drugs, never breaking out of whatever destructive cycle that they were trapped in or killing them selves, yes it’s all sad but true and as someone who is trying to live your faith and love these people and minister to them Yahweh knows when you are done and being sensitive in your intimacy with him in these endeavors is critical, because I have felt like a failure over and over when my time with someone was clearly up, and because of my feelings and sentiment I stuck around way too long, because Yahweh had already told me “you’ve done all you can do.”

   Be mindful of relationships, especially the one you have with Yahweh, He’s always been there, He’s never let you down, trust his leadership in these relationships He wants to keep you safe, sure there will be heartbreak along the way, but listening to and knowing that Yahweh is looking out for your best interest and He is in control of the ministry surrounding those you care for and when Yahweh says your done it’s ok to be done. I have seen people redeemed, restored and healed and even gotten to be used by Yahweh to help people in this way, but it was by His way and His power, not because I chose to go where he hadn’t sent me or stay longer than I was supposed to.

“Wisdom has built her house; she has carved its seven columns. She has prepared a great banquet, mixed the wines, and set the table. She has sent her servants to invite everyone to come. She calls out from the heights overlooking the city. “Come in with me,” she urges the simple. To those who lack good judgment, she says, “Come, eat my food, and drink the wine I have mixed. Leave your simple ways behind, and begin to live; learn to use good judgment.” Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise, and they will love you. Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more. Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment. Wisdom will multiply your days and add years to your life. If you become wise, you will be the one to benefit. If you scorn wisdom, you will be the one to suffer.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭9:1-12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Faith. Family. Friendship. Forever.