Freedom from lust

For most it is a process, because going down the water park sin slide is fun, it’s exciting and exhilarating, but you don’t realize what it takes to get back out till you have to climb back out, clearing your heart and mind of the junk it leaves behind.

Porn, drugs and alcohol, they all start out innocently, your experimenting, and even if you grew up not in a family that took you to church like mine did deep in your heart you know what is right and wrong… that’s why people want to change laws and force people to accept their lifestyle decisions, it doesn’t matter, you can break down all the walls try to get as many people on your side as you can but at the end of the day, your conscience and your heart condemns you, you may be in a place where you don’t care anymore but I promise you this you remember the time when your conscience spoke the truth.

I had an off and on relationship with pornography throughout the years since I was a teen and just like everything else that I did that I knew I was not supposed to, it left me marked… thinking sex was like those movies, thinking women wanted to be treated that way? Well let’s go back to before porn… I was not perverted until I exposed myself to sinful perversion. Up until a few years ago I struggled with porn, in some way shape or form, I even tried in being a follower of Jesus to justify it, sounds crazy huh? But I would try to convince myself it was ok knowing it wasn’t, then I would look at it, then I would instantly be ashamed and go into a self loathing depression… I went through this vicious circle for about 10 years, I was miserable afterwards I would say, “I’m never doing this again! I’m not falling into that trap again!” But I did, and it kept me feeling like a complete failure as a Christian. I would tell God how sorry I was every time, and that I would never let it happen again, after about the fiftieth or so time (maybe more) Yahweh started to speak into my heart, and He was speaking before but I just wasn’t listening to nothing but my self condemnation, but He was saying “it’s ok”… I’m like “WHAT!” It’s not ok, He said “Jesus’s blood paid it all, I am here, we will get through this and you can stop this vicious cycle.” I’m like… Yahweh wants to be my friend in this? That was around three years ago, I haven’t watched porn since, and at this point I really don’t care too but, the same opportunities came my way to justify watching it, but Yahweh’s voice was there “you know where this takes you, and we’re going somewhere different.” And I was able to stop take a deep breath and choose Yahweh’s path for my life.

Pornography dilutes and distorts the intimacy that God meant for good. Not at first but in time we heap these weird perverse fetish’s on ourselves and those that will enact them with us… and if they won’t do it we turn to porn, I’m telling you now that Yahweh can redeem you from the perverted mind, but it takes stepping away from porn so that your heart and desire for sexual intimacy can burn for your husband or wife. That’s God’s intention for us, because there was a time in my life when my mind was not perverted and I’m thankful that Yahweh is getting me back to that, because my wife deserves a man that loves, honors and respects her in an intimate and passionate way.


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